What of what?

Okay first of all I would like to say that I am very confused at the moment, and I feel like whining and complainig so here goes.
I am bored as hell, lonely in the midst of this throng. I hate my life, but love it too much to lose. Goddess help me I'm confused. To hell with trying to see the best in everything, it just makes me more depressed and I feel like screaming. Ahhh what of what is what I would ask you, what shall I do for this heartache that doesn't involve cutting it out or piercing it through, it has had enough damage damnit and can't take any more. What do you want from me? Why won't you leave me alone. I want someone to hold my hand and whisper sweet nothings to me, but I scream in pain as they look at me. I want to die but don't know how. Hatred is bad for me they say, but o it feels so right keeping your pain in my sight.

Oh, damn don't let go, keep me in your arm till I die..........

Bleh.... Toots

~Danneh~